My awesome pwnage profile
by Jing269
Summary: So I didn't want to crash your computers with my super huge profile, so I made it into a story! :D Rated T for safety.


HARRY POTTER OVER TWILIGHT!!

Quoteable Quotes that quote stuff and yeah...

"You... are my nakama!"-Luffy from One Piece

"Big brothers...you know why they're born first? To protect the little ones the come after them!! What kind of brother says that he'll KILL his own sister?! Even a MONSTER shouldn't say that!!"-Ichigo from Bleach.

"_EXPECTO PATRONUM!!"_-Harry from Harry Potter

"YOU KILLED YOUR OWN BROTHER!!"-Jeb from Maximum Ride

"Did you love me?"-Luke from Percy Jackson and the Olympians

"I'm just taking a nap while you yammer on."-Kate from The Mysterious Benedict Society

(There's a lot more, but I'm too lazy)

Favorite Pairings

One Piece: LuffyxNami(LuNa) ZoroxNami(ZoNa) ZoroxRobin(ZoRo) RobinxNami(RoNa idk why I like this pairing, I just think they're cute together) ZoroxLuffy(ZoLu same as above)

Bleach: GrimmjowxOrihime(GrimmHime) IchigoxOrihime(IchiHime) IchigoxRukia(IchiRuki)

Naruto: SasukexSakura(SasuSaku) KibaxME(I luvvv Kiba!)

Maximum Ride: FangxMax(Fax) IggyxElla(Eggy)

Harry Potter: HarryxHermione(for a while...) RonxHermione DracoxHermione(don't know _what _I was thinking...) HarryxGinny

Cats: (pairings and theories) Munkustrap and Demeter are mates Demeter and Bombalurina are sisters Misto and Victoria are cousins Misto and Alonzo are cousins Victoria and Alonzo are siblings Bustopher Jones is Misto, Victoria, and Alonzo's father/uncle Misto and Jemima are future mates Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are siblings/mates(I'm fine with both) Bombie and Tugger are mates Jemima is Munku and Demeter's daughter Tantomile and Coricopat are siblings Plato and Victoria are mates Jellylorum and Asparagus are mates Jennyanydots and Skimbleshanks are mates Macavity kidnapped Demeter and Bombie rescued her Munku, Tugger, and Macavity are Old D's sons Grizabella is Demeter and Bombie's mother Electra and Pouncival are siblings/Jennyanydots' kids Etcetera and Tumblebrutus are siblings/Jellylorum's kids Alonzo is MINE. But I'm willing to share with Cassandra.

Funny Words

Dillydally Idaho (say it syllable by syllable ;D) Pocky (who doesn't think this word is funny?! It has its own Wikipedia article!!)

Random stuff that I got from other people's profiles(Thanks!)

Easy Chinese 1 - THAT'S NOT RIGHT...Sum Ting Wong 2 - ARE YOU HARBORING A FUGITIVE...Wai Yu Hai Ding 3 - SEE ME ASAP...Kum Hia 4 - STUPID MAN...Dum Fuk 5 - SMALL HORSE...Tai Ni Po Ni 6 - DID YOU GO TO THE BEACH...Wai Yu So Tan 7 - I BUMPED THE COFFEE TABLE...Ai Bang Mai Fa King Ni 8 - I THINK YOU NEED A FACE LIFT...Chin Tu Fat 9 - IT'S VERY DARK IN HERE...Wai So Dim 10 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON A DIET...Wai Yu Mun Ching 11 - THIS IS A TOW AWAY ZONE...No Pah King 12 - OUR MEETING IS SCHEDULED FOR NEXT WEEK...Wai Yu Kum Now 13 - STAYING OUT OF SIGHT...Lei Ying Lo 14 - HE'S CLEANING HIS AUTOMOBILE...Wa Shing Ka 15 - YOUR BODY ODOR IS OFFENSIVE...Yu Stin Ki Pu 16 - GREAT!...Fa King Su Pa

ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS THAT SCARE ME: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

YE OLDE ANNOYING COPY/PASTE SECTION: (1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..." (2)Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN (3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. (4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.  Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?  Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.  Man: Is this seat empty?  Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.  Man: Your place or mine?  Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.  Man: So, what do you do for a living?  Woman: I'm a female impersonator.  Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?  Woman: Unfertilized.  Man: Your body is like a temple.  Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.  Woman: But would you stay there?  Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.  Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together  Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Stereotypes are horrible, awful, and downright evil, so I have made a list of common ones.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun. I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart. I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything wrong on the planet. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm GAY, so I MUST have aids. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control. I'm ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world. I'm a REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST be irresponsible. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be uneducated, play the banjo, go barefoot, and have a stupid accent. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz. I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST be smelly, sweaty, and love lasagna. I have STRAIGHT-A's, so I MUST have no social life. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a poser. I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed, and arrogant. I'm PEURTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be self-centered. I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate gay people. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST be a prostitute. My HAIR GETS GREASY A LOT, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I DON'T LIKE TO BE IN A BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I READ COMICS, so I MUST be a loser. I'm TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse. I'm GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist. I DRAW ANIME, so I MUST be a freak. I'm a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I'm an ONLY CHILD, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak. I'm WELSH, so I MUST love sheep. I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be irresponsible, sloppy, and lazy. I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with a cockney accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree-hugging hippie. I'm SWEDISH, so I MUST be tall, blonde, and blue-eyed. I LIKE CARTOONS, so I MUST be irresponsible. I LIKE READING, so I MUST be a loner. I'm a WICCAN, so I MUST be a Satanist. I LIKE GAMES, ANIME, AND COMICS, so I MUST be immature. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be paranoid. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be cruel. I'm STRONG, so I MUST be stupid. I'm AUSTRALIAN, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos. I LOVE MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DISAGREE WITH MY GOVERNMENT, so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be labeled. I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK. I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay. I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO. I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited. I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas. I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7. I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect. I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich. I'm an OG so I must be Mexican

／l、  （ﾟ､ ｡ ７  l、 ~ヽ じしf,)ノ

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your  signature/profile to help him gain world domination.(Kitty: MWAHAHA)

(\)_(/) (='.'=)(")_(") This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!(Bunny: MWAHAHA)

(\_/)  (o.o) This is Bunny Jr.. Copy Bunny Jr. to your profile to help him in his goal of world domination!(Bunny Jr.: MWAHAHA)

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. If you have short term memory loss, wait for the beep after the beep, and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you've had a person who you've loved like a sibling, but you were torn apart by circumstances, you're not alone. Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to this list: SeekDreamsAndFindHope, Fangalicous08, Jing269

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.  If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.  If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.  If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Stupidity killed the cat, Curiosity was framed.

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! **(I don't even want to know how many I have done, the things in bold are the idiotic events that I have done.)**

**1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out** 2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails (how...?)**3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it****4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking****5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking** 6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head 7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself**8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand****9. Tried to push open a door that said pull****10. Tried to pull open a door that said push** 11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion**12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else****13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs** 14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave 15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair**16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble** 17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it 18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard**19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name****20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot****21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on** 22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.**23. Have run into a closed door** 24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else**25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it****26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke** 27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer 28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan**29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk****30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock** 31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it 32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside**33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else** 34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property**35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot****36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on****37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in****38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard****39. Walked into a pole****40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident** 41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house 42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on**43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small(It was really awkward going to my mom and asking her to get it off…)** 44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it**45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.****46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it****47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up** 48. Have poked yourself in the eye 49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on 50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair, (You can do that?) 51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test**52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil****53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it****54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.****55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were** 56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on**57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.****58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it****59. Did your homework REALLY neatly, but then found out that you didn't have to do it****60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie** 61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa 62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it**63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence****64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person****65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side****66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions****67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong****68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it****69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out** 70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught**71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face** 72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb 73. Ran into a door jam**74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid (Me: I don't do stupid things. I'm the complete opposite of stupid. Random kid: What's 3 times 0? Me: 3, der… Wait…)****75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it** 76. Have purposely licked playground sand (What?!)**77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band****78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't****79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people** 80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out 81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off**82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again** 83. Sat and wondered why men's dress shirts have a loop on the back.**84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about (Cat...Bird...)****85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair****86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone (fun fun)** 87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird (Who does that!) 88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people 89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria 90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.**91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil** 92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them 93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper**94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours****95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story** 96. When you saw a 'beware of dog' sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs**97. You have spelled your own name wrong before****98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.****99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class** 100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

**Dang… There's a lot more bold than not bold…(60/100!)**

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you're in the middle of a history test like today, and burst out laughing over Joan of Arc. And then ask if she ever got made fun of because her last name was is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

"Oh Ava, we all know that you and Nick McCombe like each other, and one day, yes one day, we'll be walking along 93rd and Nick will come running from behind us after passing, having nearly missed his opportunity, yelling, "AVA I LOVE YOU!". And you will turn around, smiling a smile so huge it could possibly rip your face off, and yell back, "OH NICK, I LOVE YOU TOO!". And then you both will run towards each other, everything seeming to slow down. The birds flying, the people walking, that dog peeing on the street hydrant. And when you finally reach each other, you will envelope in your first passionate kiss together. And then he will sweep you up into his arms, bridal style of course, and a horse will seemingly appear out of nowhere. As you and him suddenly find yourselves dressed in medieval clothing, which for him consists of a dark pair of burgundy tights, a shirt, with a rather large belt draped across it, a sword sheathed into the side, and giant poofy arm sleeves, and for you milady, a long flowy corset-like dress, you will mount said horse, and then ride off into the sunset of Madison avenue. All the while trying to dodge the taxis that are yelling at you to get the hell out of the road." (I found this on Skittles31's profile and just had to have it.)

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

Warning! Serious stuff shall cometh!! You were warned.

_**I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.**__**I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.**__**I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.**__**I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.**__**We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.**__**I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.**__**I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.**__**I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.**__**I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won't risk losing my family and friends.**__**We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.**__**I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.**__**I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.**__**I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.**__**I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.**__**I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.**__**I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.**__**I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.**__**I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.**__**I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.**__**I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.**__**I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.**__**I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to teach me a lesson**__**IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG REPOST THIS!**_

**Month One****Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, ****but I have all my organs.****I love the sound of your voice.****Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. ****The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.**

**Month Two****Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb.****If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby.****I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.****It is so nice and warm in here.**

**Month Three****You know what Mommy, I'm a boy!!****I hope that makes you happy.****I always want you to be happy.****I don't like it when you cry.****You sound so sad.****It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.**

**Month Four****Mommy, my hair is starting to grow.****It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it.****I spend a lot of my time exercising.****I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs.****I am becoming quite good at it too.**

**Month Five****You went to the doctor today.****Mommy, he lied to you.****He said that I'm not a baby.****I am a baby Mommy, your baby.****I think and feel.****Mommy, what's abortion?**

**Month Six****I can hear that doctor again, and I don't like him.****He seems cold and heartless.****Something is intruding my home.****The doctor called it a needle.****Mommy what is it?****It burns!****Please make him stop!****I can't get away from it!****Mommy! HELP me!**

**Month Seven****Mommy, I am okay.****I am in Jesus's arms.****He is holding me.****He told me about abortion.****Why didn't you want me Mommy?**

**Every Abortion Is Just . . .****One more heart that will never beat.****Two more eyes that will never see.****Two more hands that will never touch.****Two more legs that will never run.****One more mouth that will never speak.****If you're against abortion, re-post this**

**I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.**

**The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.**

**The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'**

**Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''**

**The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''**

**Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.**

**The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.**

**Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.**

**'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.**

**She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'**

**I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.**

**But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'**

**His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''**

**My heart nearly stopped.**

**The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'**

**Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'**

**'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'**

**Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.**

**I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check****Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''**

**'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.**

**The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'**

**Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''**

**'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''**

**'My mommy loves white roses.'**

**A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.**

**I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.**

**I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.**

**Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.**

**The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.**

**Was this the family of the little boy?**

**Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.**

**I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.**

**She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.**

**I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.**

**And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.**

**Now you have 2 choices:**

**1) Repost this message, or****2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.**

**10 Reasons Why Being Gay is 'Wrong'**

**1.) Being gay is not 'natural'. We must **_**always**_** reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.**

**2.) Gay marriage will make people gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.**

**3.) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets- because **_**of course**_** a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract, just like a human being.**

**4.) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, interracial marriage is still frowned upon, and divorce is still illegal.**

**5.) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed (Oh, what a tragedy).**

**6.) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world clearly needs more children, despite the fact that so many of them go uncared for.**

**7.) **_**Obviously**_** gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.**

**8.) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion.**

**9.) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.**

**10.) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could **_**never**_** adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.**

**Re-post this if you believe love makes a marriage.**

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Amigos!

A stranger stabs you in the front A friend stabs you in the back A boyfriend stabs your heart Best Friends only poke each other with straws

Best Friends: it's who we are... Instead of saying "excuse me" we push each other out of the way and say "move". We hug each other and laugh at any random moment. We argue about the stupidest things, then we find out were both wrong!

"Friends listen to what you say... but Best Friends listen to what you don't say..."

We're friends - you laugh, I laugh. you cry, I cry, you jump off a bridge, I laugh even harder, then go save your butt.

A good friend will warn you before you walk into a door, but a best friend will let you walk into the door and laugh.

Real friends don't let you do stupid things--alone

A good or best friend! A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, freak?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the cell next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries with you. A good friend will help you learn to drive. A best friend will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance money A good friend will ask you why you are crying, A best friend already has the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry A good friend will never ask for anything to eat or drink. A best friend helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food A good friend will call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.  A best friend will call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! A good friend will borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. A best friend will lose your stuff and tell you, "My bad...here's a tissue." A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.  A best friend will kick the ass of the whole crowd that left you. A good friend will knock on your front door.  A best friend will walk right in and say "I'M HOME." A good friend has to be told not to tell anyone.  A best friend already knows not to tell. A good friend is only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)  A best friend is for life. A good friend will ignore this letter. A best friend will repost this crap!

Someone out there either has too much spare time, or is really good at Scrabble. DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

**1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.** Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Demigod Files. Page 81 is a drawing...

**2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?** Air! It's everywhere!

**3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?** The Weather Channel.:'( I have no life...

**4. Without looking, guess what time it is:** 8:12 pm

**5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?** 8:02 (O_o)

**6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?** Music :P

**7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?** Like 7 hours ago, going out of Pizza Hut.

**8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?** A music video

**9. What are you wearing?** Jeans!

**10. Did you dream last night?** Yes. The world was in reverse color, and there was a gerbil in the distance... I walked toward it when the ground opened up and swallowed me up, and I landed in the Underworld with Hades, but since the world was reverse color, the Underworld was pink! Then I woke up.

**11. When did you last laugh?** About... six seconds ago?

**12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?** Harry Potter posters!

**13. Seen anything weird lately?** Yes. My dream last night(-_-)

**14. What do you think of this survey?** It's EXHAUSTING

**15. What is the last movie you saw?** Alvin and the Chipmunks!

**16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?** I would buy... !

**17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:** I have a dot on my cheek.

**18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?** NO MORE WARS!!

**19. George Bush:** I didn't even care about politics when he was President...

**20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?** Something beginning with an R

**21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?** Something beginning with an S

**22. Would you ever consider living abroad?** I would love to. I LIVE IN GUAM.

37 Secrets About Yourself. Be honest no matter what.

1) have you ever been asked out? Yes.

2) where did you get your default picture? Gewgle!

3) what's your middle name? It's korean. I'll just abbreviate it: June

4) your current relationship status? Single, hun ;D

5) does your crush like you back? I hope so

6) what is your current mood? TOMATOES!!

7) what color of underwear are you wearing? Wouldn't _you _like to know?!

8) what color shirt are you wearing? Gray.

9) Missing something? SomeONE...

10) if you could go back in time and change something, what would you change? The invention of homework

11) if you must be an animal for one day, what? A Jellicle(cat)!

12) ever had a near death experience? Too many to count... I live a dangerous life!

13) something you do a lot? Listen to music, sing

14) the song stuck in your head? Spongebob!

15) who did you copy and paste this from? Insane Tara

16) name someone with the same birthday as YOU? Jerry Trainor!

17) when was the last time you cried? Yesterday.

18) have you ever sung in front of a large audience? Hehe... I managed to avoid it for 12 years and counting!

19) if you could have one super power what would it be? Time travel or reading minds.

20) what's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eye color. I'm a sap for hazel eyes.

21) what do you usually order from starbucks? Hot Chocolate. You don't drink _that_ much in Guam.

22) what's your biggest secret? :P I'm not telling YOU!!

23) favorite color? Neon Green

24) do you still watch kiddie shows? Nah. Unless it's really good

25) what are you? Korean and proud of it behbey~~

26) do you speak any other language? Korean and a little Chinese. Hoping to learn Spanish.

27) what's your favorite smell? Rain. I know it's weird.

28) Describe your life in one word what would it be? POTATOH!!

29) have you ever kissed in the rain? I wish. :'(

30) what are you thinking about right now? La dee da~~

31) what should you be doing? Homework. :P

32) who was the last person that made you upset/angry? Myself. :'(

33) do you like working in the yard? I don't have one :P

34) if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? Witherspoon!

35) do you act differently around the person you like ? Nah. Well, I don't laugh as much, but that's all

36) what is your natural hair color? Brown.

37) who was the last person to make you cry? Does a story count?

_**~MY 9 NAMES~ (For all of these I have used my Fanfiction name. Not my real one.)**_

_1. YOUR REAL NAME:_

_Jing_

_2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:_ _(first 4 letters of real name + izzle)_

_Jingizzle(lol)_

_3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:_ _(favorite color and favorite animal)_

_Green Turtle(actually makes sense!)_

_4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:_ _(your middle name and the street you live on)_

_June Tumon(...)_

_5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:_ _(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)_

_Leeji(??)_

_6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME:_ _(Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite soda)_

_Blue Sierra Mist (hehehe funny)_

_7. YOUR IRAQI NAME:_ _(2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any_ _letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd_ _letter of dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, and_ _last letter of your mom's middle name)_

_Iehhemg_

_8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:_ _(both parents' middle names)_

_Bong Dae or Dae Bong(I'm KOREAN)_

_9. YOUR GOTH NAME:_ _(Black and the name of one of your pets)_

_Black Fluffy?!_

**Type your name with your knuckles: **Jing

**Type your name with your nose:** Ui8inhg(I either have a big nose or small keys)

**Type your name with your name with your feet: **jingg

**Type your name with a pen without looking: **hunf(Funny!)

**1. Find a globe. Spin does it say? **Japan!

**2. Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18, word 6. What does it say?** spewing(ewww)

**3. What can you hear right now? **Music

**4. Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself.**

Me: Hello plant. How have you been?

Plant: ...

**5. Turn on T.V. What show is on? **Muaha I don't even know. It's in Spanish :P

**6. Type your name with your elbow. **jikmnfgh(Epic fail...)

**7. Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes. What's the first thing you see?** Wall! Oh I missed you! Wow, I'm dizzy all of a sudden.

**8. If you could be anybody from Warriors, who would you be? **What Warriors?

**9. What happened last time you were typing on this computer?** Homework

**10. Find the third letter of all your answers. Underline them. What do they spell? **n8nnpes:aklam. (Wow! It is actually pronounceable. Sorta. If you ignore the 8 and the colon)

Copy and paste this into your profile if when you were young... There were only 150 Pokemon. Digimon was popular. Yugi-Oh actually had Yugi in it. You didn't get weird looks when you went Trick-or-Treating. Nobody cared what you looked like. Hamtaro ROCKED. Catching a pigeon was cool. Pirates before Pirates of the Carribean. Nobody knew how to spell 'Volcano'. Pinky and the brain were cartoon characters, not body parts. Saying 'moron' was a swear word. Fire was considered dangerous. The only thing you had to worry about were cooties. Cursive writing was just a bunch of swirly lines. Multiplication was scary. Dora the Explorer and that damn monkey who follows her EVERYWHERE didn't exist. The first Harry Potter was the coolest thing since sliced bread. If this is true, copy and paste then write your name. Catemonster, Angel Dumott Schunard Collins, Palinana, Kaz-za-15, Taijiya Mizu, DarkBombayAngel, Schizzar, Jing269


End file.
